QUEST

I cannot deny my earlier leanings when at a very young age I began to question ideas about God.  Certainly I did not understand Jesus.  It was involving stories I could not relate - as I finally realized that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny along with fairies and brownies were not real.  At some point in pain, I called out to God - and nothing happened.  Therefore it seemed logical for me to address anything else.  One - science had some answers.  Two - Jesus was probably a myth like any other and most religions. Three - God was an attempt to explain things we just did not understand.  I tried to respect those who might have their belief - as long as they didn't push it on me.

To now be on the other side - from a complete gift of revelation from God in Jesus Christ, I have such respected compassion for those who, like the former me, question everything - even to finding "reassurance" as a skeptic since "science doubts itself - and that is something I can trust."  This is an actual quote from a man I spoke with on why he "gave up his faith" in Jesus Christ.  He admitted that the church involvement, etc. - did feel good to him, but his reason for walking away was that he did not feel there existed any real "answered prayer".  Therefore, God did not hear him, or that God does not exist, and/or he was "only deluding himself," etc.  Along the way he also enjoys more freedom in doing whatever he feels like sexually, and otherwise - without guilt or feeling restricted.  I wanted to correctly ascertain his logic in how he concluded everything - hence the above statement.  When I pressed him further, however - for evidence for God or not, he said he could not answer either way and did not want to bother with it.  But, the final conclusion, he felt forced to say - "Yes, I would really like to know - if the evidence is there.  But, I have to just live my life in some honesty the best way I can - and enjoy myself."  Enjoyment of life without guilt or restriction seems to be the main draw for most of those who turn away or never bother thinking about anything spiritual.  The value is on the present moment rather than on an eternal truth that one could continually seek in their heart and mind.

I am dismayed on this trend for several reasons.  One - Since my revelation in Jesus Christ came in my late teens,  I can now only imagine being in doubt or unbelief.  And, I would hope I would have sought God and answers no matter when.  But, why is it that as people age, they do not consider more wisely their mortality?  In fact, it often seems that most feel their ideas of things become more entrenched and justified as one ages.  I do not believe this is logical.  It would only make sense that with age comes wisdom - and to correct oneself if in error or at least to very thoughtfully consider all things.  Two - I certainly never have felt restricted by Jesus Christ.  If anything, I came to realize that in this life Jesus clearly gave the freedom to do anything we want - and in grace! Jesus totally taught there is no line to cross!  To that, however, one realizes in Christ the wisdom as the experience of love and understanding is written in one's heart.  Thus, like life, we learn or rather KNOW that though "we are free to do all things - not all things are good for us."  And further logic as Paul stated, "we are accused of saying let us sin all the more so grace will abound!"  I think that speaks for itself.  Obviously, grace has to cover everything - every thought, every act, every possible scenario.... of which there are so many - it would be a mess and troubling to consider them all.  Each of us "feels" things which are good or bad - for God teaches all men.  This is just common sense to know - not get all up in it or off on tangents about every little moral jot or not.  Another factor to consider is that one "logically" understands what is right in motivation from all encompassing love - this I experience in God.  It is a little like staying faithful to a marriage partner because it is expected, or staying faithful in all because one is so in love that a stray thought would never be considered. Three - I am not sure those who "leave the faith" ever felt more than the phenomenon of group highs - and/or sometimes a taste of the actual manifestation of God's Holy Spirit.  I am deeply troubled by the mockery that some "educators" resort to in undermining someone's beliefs.  I know that I received a waking revelation from God in Jesus Christ while considering and seeking seriously the depth and reality of God's salvation in grace through Jesus Christ. Yahweh - mostly means God Saves.  (In English God is often Jehovah/Yahweh - & Jesus is Joshua/Yeshua - but getting off on names too much is another obstacle for argument with most.  God's real name & Jesus Christ's name - is actually a complete secret.  Your own real name is a secret, also - known only to God at present! This is relevant in that language is only in time.... God communicates without time and in words that are not a spoken language as we would know it.)  But,  it is all GOD - the only God - who created us, designed all, and especially provides the saving grace to abide in Him without separation - the only "real" sin.   I considered all this and prayed completely alone and in the privacy of my own space accepting that I did not have the answers, was separated from God - and in need of grace, saving and love through God who provided all in bringing us back to Him with understanding through Jesus Christ - God in flesh.  I am well aware of the influence one can feel by group/world pressure - to believe one way or another or not.


Thus, this is all very simple in that it is real or it is not.  Get off the fence and get serious about the real evidence or not.  Meaning that - if it is not real, nothing would ever matter  - so what.  Yet, that leaves only one way to look at it - IT IS REAL.  Because, as it is real - EVERYTHING MATTERS!  Wisdom would address that for any who want to know.  I am sympathetic as I experienced this complete vision and revelation in one moment - if that.  God completely changed my mind in me "in the twinkling of an eye."  But, my former self remembers and I would very much love to assist someone like me to take another look at our eternal Lord - and understand redemption and all that is happening.  Peace in understanding is a beautiful love and trust in something so beyond ourselves - it is transcending.  To seriously consider then the master plan which God intended in this very transient life would be the most important thought one could ever think - Jesus Christ is a living salvation for all that man has done in separation from God.  Our lives are a mere dream, a mere virtual test - to reveal who we are, what we are made of, what we would be or could be.  Yes, it sure "feels" real! And, painfully so.  But, eternity is the reality - and that is the truth.  Understanding how to live it well begins with crossing that first bridge to God - the complete remedy of death - Jesus Christ - Yahweh, God Saves!    

  

Who is Responsible?

The news coverage of the Tampa Mom who shot her teenaged children - (age 13 and 16) for "talking back" to her - rings a familiar pattern which is repeated - once is too often.  Also, in January 2011, a young Dad went off in Meridian (Boise), Idaho - where he stabbed his Mom to death, chained and tortured his wife, and endangered his baby.  A couple of years ago (2007) - on Christmas Eve, a young daughter with her boyfriend shot and killed her parents, her brother and his wife with their two young children in Carnation (Seattle) Washington.   First, society wants to know who did this? - who is responsible? - then why?  Of all these four people who confessed to committing these crimes of shock - not one of them had any criminal record whatsoever.  In fact, the Idaho young man had actually been a deputy police officer.  The Tampa Mom was wealthy, degreed, and had been a military officer.  The daughter with her boyfriend had been in business with the brother at one point.  They were living in a trailer on the same property as the parents.  "Typical" family issues were present in each scenario.  So, what caused these people to flip - but with a warped planning mind over time - not a quick crime of instant passion.

There are many examples of this horror all over the world and over history.  Some remain completely unsolved.  Others, like the above three, society gets to go over the facts and ponder the ramifications.  I noticed the above three incidents because each city happens to be where my siblings and I are - Boise, Seattle, Tampa.   In Orlando, are other siblings, too - and there are too numerous tales of horror in the news, as well - take your pick from child murder, massacres, etc... from Moms, Dads, Brothers, Sisters - all inclusive like a Disney Horror World in Orlando.   In another Florida city last Thanksgiving, an estranged brother sweetly included by a distant cousin,  waited for after the Thanksgiving meal to massacre his sisters and family - and said that he had been methodically planning to do so for 20 years.  So, one wonders - could any of this happen to our Family?  And, of course we quickly think, believe, pray, and feel - no way, of course not - never.  But, the lingering question of looking at some of the people in the news above - still should pause us all to make sure this could never happen in our families.

And, so - if these were well-planned events and not passion moments - what caused the constant drip-drip-drip..... to finally inch into anyone's brain and start warped thinking.  And, if it is just that - a drip drip drip --- of small, typical, insignificant oversights, that lead to big omissions, mix in a little alcohol, anti-depressants, medical ill-health - and finally from a little neurotic behavior comes a huge neurosis and then turns into psychosis - break from society's "norm".   Personally, I can make at least one over-generalization in most of the above horror scenarios:  I believe there was a root cause of dis-respect which was "felt" by the above samples of people - whether or not they were actually disrespected, still hardly should cause such violent responses.  But, it is something historically that becomes a sore point for many - Hitler, too - lack of respect and/or lack of identity - can begin the warped cycle mix.   It is at this point I must look at my Love, my Lord - Jesus Christ..... who's challenge was not in acting out (behaviour) - but in actual PRIVATE thought! Amazing.  He set the standard that you have committed these same acts - all of us - if we had so much as "thought" of it.  On this, however, I do not believe that a mind-popping stray idea is a thought - I believe the standard is to actually entertain the thought.  In other words, keeping the thought ever-present, or in the background as a real possibility - even a sick, warped "hope" - to wish ill of someone else.  God reads our hearts, knows our intents - and definitely records each and every little thought whispered in our soul!

And, I ponder - why is Christ's standard so high?  Who can really control one's thoughts perfectly.  But, if our evil world and the horrible actions above actually originated with thought - and well-planned thought - then I can understand how God has such concern - for as He said in Genesis and throughout the Bible - all of man's heart is evil - every thought to continually do evil.  This broke God's heart - and He said He was sorry he made man!

It is now being scientifically discovered - and measured - that thought truly has vibration and can manifest.  If this is truly the case - thoughts, like ripples of water waves, have to end up somewhere.  Perhaps, others pick up on the evil vibration thoughts of the world - and decide something on them.  That is bad enough - but to be the originator of the thought and to put it out there - would be worse, I would imagine.  This is where we all can take some responsibility for the drip-drip-drip dysfunction that sometimes contributes to the above scenarios.  Keeping Christ's commandments - of loving kindness to others - even our enemies and to ask God to BLESS - not curse someone who is evil or our enemy....... this is quite a revelation and standard.  Truly the love thoughts and the beauty of our Lord also must have to go somewhere and manifest and others "pick up" on it, as well.  In actuality, we are all sharing in the responsibility of the crucifiction of Christ - not one of us is without flaw or fault.  As our Lord forgives us in this - in order to start anew - we can take on His nature in that we can choose to NOT want evil thought and doing.  This is the real test and we will always have a new view in which to judge ourselves only - not others.

Taking responsibility to control one's thoughts is a beautiful beginning that one can begin anew each time second!  When people act out as above, truly we can all see how we are all sharing in the hurts, torments, warpdom, --- and almost destined to keep the horror pattern "alive" and vibrating still....   This is the nature of evil.  To be strong enough to stop that kind of "wave action" - in Christ is divine - beyond good.  May we all share in this as our legacy in kind!